Phogna Bologna

In an effort to boost business at my job in Chelsea, I decided to join
yelp and give the restaurant a 5-star review.

To ward off skeptics, I have since become a regular yelper, reviewing
everything from my local pet store to the laundromat.

Incidentally, in the week or two since my first review about my
workplace, business has seemed to steadily pick up.

Quite unusual, you say? Especially since it is the month of January? I
thought so too, and I can't help but feel like I singlehandedly
brought on the boom.

My friend Kevin says it's deceitful since I so happen to work there.
Not so, I think. In fact, I am doing the public a good service by
informing them of our fabulous establishment. After all, the review
was entirely truthful. Even the part about it being a "best-kept
secret."

Someone else happened to notice the surge in business and brought it
to my attention. A not-too-familiar customer asked me the other day,
"Were you guys written up recently?"
"Pardon?" I asked.
"Has someone gone and said that this is like a best-kept secret? We
love this place and we can't remember ever seeing it this crowded!"
"Oh," I said, and looked around, admiring my good work, "I suppose
you're right."

I felt warm and fuzzy inside knowing that it was all because of me.
Why hadn't I done this sooner? And then I realized it. Oh shit, she
knew! She must have recognized me from my profile picture!

As they say on Guam: Magacha! Or: Busted!

I <3 Inwood

Saw this while walking on Sherman Ave

Magnolia's Banana Pudding

I wanted to post this recipe because it's foolproof, easy, and sinfully delicious. And, it tastes just like the overpriced version from Magnolia Bakery.

Magnolia's Banana Pudding

1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 1/2 cups ice cold water
1 (3.4-ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix (preferably Jell-O brand)
3 cups heavy cream
1 (12-ounce) box Nabisco Nilla Wafers (no substitutions!)
4 cups sliced ripe bananas

In a small bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, beat together the sweetened condensed milk and water until well combined, about 1 minute. Add the pudding mix and beat well, about 2 minutes more.

Cover and refrigerate for 3-4 hours or overnight, before continuing. It is very important to allow the proper amount of time for the pudding mixture to set.

In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, whip the heavy cream until stiff peaks form. Gently fold the pudding mixture into the whipped cream until well blended and no streaks of pudding remain.

To assemble the dessert, select a large, wide bowl (preferably glass) with a 4-5-quart capacity. Arrange one-third of the wafers to cover the bottom of the bowl, overlapping if necessary, then one-third of the bananas and one-third of the pudding. Repeat the layering twice more, garnishing with additional wafers or wafer crumbs on the top layer of the pudding. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and allow to chill in the refrigerator for 4 hours - or up to 8 hours, but no longer! - before serving.

GOAL!

It's the fifth day of the year. What have you done to better your life and the lives of others? Well, I have decided to take a tip from the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and set periodic goals for myself.

By the end of this week, I will have liked to have done the following:

• Sign up for a volunteer project
• Register for a yoga class
• Succeed in making homemade sausage, or at least bake something awesome
• Thoroughly clean my bedroom(a challenge because Omar works nights and sleeps all day)
• Register for automatic bill pay with all my bills

All this by Saturday! With the help of Cafe Bustelo, it can be done!

A new, productive year

So, I meant to post yesterday as a last blog of 2009 and recap the year's highlights. I thought about it, and I could not come up with anything exciting enough in my personal life to recap.

Isn't that depressing?

My highlights were this:

• The inauguration of the first black president
• Obed's(Omar's little brother) fascination with squirrels and big buildings on his first visit from the Dominican Republic

...and that's about it. In my personal life, the only thing that stands out as a great moment to me would be finding out I got a $1000 scholarship for culinary school. I'm ashamed to admit that.

So, now that 2009 is over, I'm starting off on the right foot. My goal is to have so many exciting things happen to me this year that I won't know where to start when the year ends.

This is why I am beginning today and this year with a nice, strong cup of Cafe Bustelo coffee. If you want to get many things done, and give birth to your best ideas, you need to have yourself some Bustelo.

I need to clean my apartment, shop for new furniture, repaint my door frames, make some homemade sausages and other items for my brunch party tomorrow, and and and other things which my precaffeinated mind cannot think of right now. Coffee, here I come!

passive aggression

So, my boyfriend calls me a "secretly mean person." It means that on the surface I seem sweet and innocent, but I really have a dark side where I curse like a sailor and have a liiiittle bit of a short temper. I can't say I completely disagree. That'll definitely be one of the things I hope to change in the new year.

Anywho, as a secretly mean person, I am the culprit of a slew of passive aggressive acts.

Last night, at my job as a waitress in Chelsea, two girls came in. They come in often- about once a week or so. They are the kind of girls who have high-pitched voices, lack common sense, and hope that their cute, perkyness will make up for it. It doesn't.

So, they come in and treat the place like it's their living room and always order the same damn thing. And I always give them the same damn thing, but it's not exactly what they ordered.

They order two extra large, extra hot, skim lattes. This is all they order, and they stay for hours. They're annoying and don't deserve to be skinny, so I give them two extra large, semi-hot, heavy cream lattes. It is, after all, a bar, and not Starbucks.

Mashing Bananas

I promise, promise, PROMISE I will update you often, new blog! You will not be forgotten like my previous blogs. I will set aside time once or twice a week to update you. And I will not let you down! Never surrender!!!!!!!!!!